


i'm sorry (that i let you down)

by pepi_peachnbeans



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Angst, Ashes Scene in Avengers: Infinity War Part 1, Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Hurt Peter, Hurt Tony Stark, I'm Sorry, I'm still crying, Infinity War spoilers, Major Spoilers, Other, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, peter and tony aren't romantic, seriously i am still crying and i have seen the movie twice so far marvel why did you do this to us, this is not a fix it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 04:38:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14561046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pepi_peachnbeans/pseuds/pepi_peachnbeans
Summary: and all tony could do was think, not like this. peter didn't deserve to die here, he didn't deserve to die at all, he is just a kid.he was just a kid.





	i'm sorry (that i let you down)

**Author's Note:**

> title from the song from nf- let you down  
> i hope you enjoy this word vomit

There was once a time that Tony Stark had nothing to live for.

But all of that changed of course, after Obadiah turned on him, he was kidnapped, and when he became Iron Man. After all of that, he realized that he had a purpose. Iron Man was his purpose. Helping people, trying to stop the evil in the world while knowing he had the power to, that was his point here on Earth. And the, through that, he ended up finding a home in the Avengers. Every last one of them, he held dear to him. They were all great friends, and they made a great team. Even as more and more people joined. So Tony did all that he could to help his friends and to make their lives easier because he knew that he wasn't the only one on the team with some emotional baggage. 

But Tony fucked that up too, just like everything else in his life. 

The Avengers tore apart, and he could feel himself starting to get worse again. He lost his family, he was the reason that his best friend became paralyzed. But in all of that, there was a silver lining of sorts. Tony discovered Spiderman and with that he discovered Peter Parker, the kid behind the mask. 

Really, Tony was not planning on getting as involved with Peter as he ended up being. He just wanted to match or even out number Cap, and he told the kid to stay back and to avoid the actual fight as much as he could. Of course, Peter didn't really listen to him which he soon learned would kind of become a common occurrence. 

At first, Tony found Peter...overwhelming. He was annoying in a way, he was happy, hyperactive, talkative. But maybe the hesitance on Tony's part was because he knew that he was never good with kids. After awhile though, Peter managed to weave his way into his heart, and even Happy's (he knew just how much Happy actually liked the kid.) He was practically a genius, talented, with such a big heart. He had so much potential to do anything and everything he wanted. Peter could have had the world. 

He should have the world, he deserves it. 

Tony never should have gotten Peter involved in any of it. He should have left Peter alone, should have left him to continue on being a friendly neighborhood spider, to watch out for all the smaller crimes. Al this did was cause Peter more pain, more suffering. He persisted to stay by Tony's side, because Peter even said it, Tony is his hero.  

But Tony didn't deserve to be his hero, just like Peter didn't deserve to be in space right now.  
  
He should have expected Peter to show up in the battle when he did, not that Tony was upset when he did show up. If anything, he appreciate the help. It was also interesting to know that Peter's powers were developing. They discovered he was beginning to develop a kind of "warning system" for when there was danger near, that Peter and Ned so cleverly dubbed it "spidey senses." Tony figured out that was how the kid knew to came, or maybe it was because of the giant donut ship in the sky, because that wasn't really subtle. 

Peter also now had his suit back, because Tony was trying his best to protect Peter. He tried his best to protect Peter in Berlin by trying to get him out of the fight, even though he knew the others were being careful with him. He tried to protect Peter when he took the fall, Tony didn't want anyone else to take anymore falls. 

Falling has haunted him for years. 

New York. 

He didn't catch Pepper. 

Rhodey became paralyzed.

So by the time that he had to worry about Peter, he knew to prepare for it, because he was not about to let Peter die that way, or at all. 

Tony also thought that he was protecting Peter when he first took the suit away, at the time he was doing what he thought was right. He learned afterwards that he never should have. So he made sure the new suits he made were the best of the best. 

He should have known that would end up coming to bite him in the ass. 

He didn't want Peter on the ship, he wanted Peter go go the fuck back home and stay out of the way of the danger. He promised to catch him with the suit, which he did. But one thing about Peter was that he was extremely stubborn, so he should have known that he wouldn't listen and would still sneak on board. 

He had been angry, he was scared, this was no place for Peter. But he realized that there was nothing he could really do now, and that if Peter was here, he might as well help. Besides, he knew that Peter always hated getting treated like a kid. 

But that was what he was, he was just a fucking kid, he is seventeen and he doesn't deserve any of this, he did nothing wrong.  
  
The worst thing was that Peter probably knew, he knew what was going to happen to him. They just watched the others who were with them on that damned planet fade away into dust, into nothingness, and his spider senses were telling him. He will never forget it, because it was now a haunting memory, worse than the cave, than New York, than anything he has faced before. This weight was something he would never be able to rid. 

"Mr. Stark? I don't feel so good." 

His voice sounded so confused, and Tony could feel the panic rising in his chest, but he knew that he had to be strong for Peter, even though all he wanted to do was freak out at the way Peter was stumbling and clutching his stomach. "You're alright kid," he tried to reassure, thought he didn't know if it was for himself or Peter anymore. 

"I-I don't know what's happening," he sounded as if he was in pain, and he probably was. Ever since the bite, his senses were dialed up to eleven, and he was probably feeling everything. He mumbled something, that sounded something awfully like "Save me please" because of course Tony would save Peter. He's done it before, and he will do it again. Over, and over, Tony would do anything to save Peter. By now, Peter was getting more off balanced, which also doesn't happen to him ever since the bite, as he looks like he is going to be sick. 

By the end, Peter was collapsing into his arms, sobbing at this point and Tony could feel the way that Peter was clinging to him, his fingers digging into his back painfully because Tony didn't have his armor anymore. It hurt because Peter was so strong. "I don't wanna go," he begged as he pushed his head into Tony's neck and shoulder and Tony could only wrap his arms around Peter, wanting to keep him from falling. "I don't wanna go. Mr Stark, please. _Please I don't wanna go_."

He sounded so vulnerable as Tony had no choice but to lay him down onto the ground as gently as he could. But it was because Peter was vulnerable, he was just a child, seventeen, and a child had no place in war. He could feel the burning in his throat at he looked down at Peter, trying to ignore the way he could see more dust moving in the air. It took everything in him to not shake Peter and scream that he was going to be okay. 

He looked so far off now, his eyes far away as he turned to look up at Tony, pain and regret on his face, "I'm sorry." 

Tony didn't know what the fuck the kid had to be sorry for. Sorry for dying? Sorry for not listening to him? He watched as Peter faded away into dust, and he felt himself desperately try to chase out and grab after him, chanting "no" like a mantra, the tears burning in the back of his eyes as he collapsed down into the spot Peter had just been. 

He failed. 

He failed. 

He failed. 

_Peter died._

He could feel his hands shaking as he brought them up close to him as he felt the dust slide between his fingers. There was hardly, if not anything, there anymore, but Tony could still feel it. The kid was just there in his arms, but now he wasn't. 

Tony used to hate kids, maybe he still did. He hated them because he didn't know how to handle them, because Howard never knew how to handle him. But Peter was different. Maybe it was because of how hard of a life Peter had, that Tony could empathize. He lost his parents and he lost his uncle Ben. 

He didn't mean to step in as that "father figure" roll, but it ended up happening anyways. Peter trusted him, ever since Berlin. For May, it took her awhile, but eventually she trusted Tony to take care of Peter, to take care of her little boy. 

But he didn't, he didn't take care of Peter. 

_**Peter died**_. 

And Tony didn't know if he could bring him back.

**Author's Note:**

> i'm thinking of doing a mini series about characters dealing with the deaths from infinity wars


End file.
